I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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