Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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