I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
