im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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