omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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