The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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