We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
