Michael Bay diarrhea
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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