Nicole vs. Life
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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