it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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