tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize