So drunk its hurt
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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