You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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