Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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