Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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