nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
