At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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