Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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