It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
