Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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