you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize