he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
