I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
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no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
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Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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