Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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