bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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