Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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