i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
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I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
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At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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