Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
