WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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