Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
