i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
