I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
