Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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