he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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