so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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