You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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