i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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