Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
