I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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