you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
