Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
