Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
A bitchslap is in order.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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