taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize