If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Can vaginas get frostbite?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize