So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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