she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
