Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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