from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
where does the pee come out of this thing
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
