Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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