Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
