he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
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He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize