She's like a pop up book from hell.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize