Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
