belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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