Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
