Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we're making bets on your personal life
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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