gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
