when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
