Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize