wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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