sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
